Archive for March, 2011

14
Mar
11

Spectacular GONG Stories #5 – Shortman’s Letter

Hello, Hello.

Kyoji here, posting a story written by an anonymous wordsmith on 4chan’s /co/ board. I take no credit for this story, and will even post the picture that he did to open up his thread that featured this 16 post story. The only thing I’ve added was the title.

 

 

This is for all you Hey Arnold fans out there.

Continue reading ‘Spectacular GONG Stories #5 – Shortman’s Letter’

09
Mar
11

My History with Pokemon: Top 5’s from 5 Generations – Gen 1

Ah, Pokemon. The big daddy of the Monster Battling genre. So big that people forget that it wasn’t the original video game to introduce the concept of catching monsters and training them to fight other monsters. Nevertheless, it did what Dragon Quest V did not; it turned this concept into it’s own unique sub genre of the Role Playing Game.

Now, the Fifth Generation of Pokemon games have been officially released in the United States. It’s been close to 13 years since I first played Pokemon Blue and in that time, I’ve had innumerable memories of the one Nintendo super franchise that rivals Mario in name recognition. I got Blue for my 11th birthday, but got to play it before I turned 11, meaning that I indeed started my Pokemon journey at 10 years old. And for those of you who know your Pokemon, you’d understand why that’s such an important memory for me.

One of the hallmarks of why Pokemon is so popular is that everyone can have their own favorite Pokemon (especially now, as the count is now up to 649 individual Pokemon), allowing a child to have a favorite Pokemon to train and befriend in the same manner that they did as Ash did with his Pikachu. Of course, I’m no exception and with each generation, I’ve had my favorites. As a follower of the old traditions of “With enough training, any Pokemon can beat any other Pokemon” and “Always use your favorites; Pokemon are your friends, not weapons”, I always use my favorites and never purposely EV train. This may get my Poke-dudes asses kicked by the legion of EV-Train ONLY people out there, but the trade off is knowing that I use my Pokemon because I enjoy them and not because they can mathematically outperform other Pokemon. As such, here’s the first of the list of my Top 5 Favorites from each Generation, plus my first Starter from each.

Generation 1 – Red, Blue, Yellow, Green

The originals. The glory days of Pokemon. The days of there only being 151 Pokemon. These were the times of Pokemon in it’s purest and rawest. As such, most people feel like, if the new Pokemon are too dissimilar to the original 151, they’re TERRIBLE. This was also the heyday of liking Pokemon because you thought they were cool, as apposed to today, we’re you have to like them for stats and the moves you can force them to have.

My Starter: Squirtle

I love turtles and I love this guy. Unlike the relationship between Ash and his Squirtle (Parole Officer and Ex-Con), me and my Squirtle were bros. Even though my starter in FireRed was Charmander, Squirtle is my A1 favorite starter of all-time. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I was one of those kids who got Squirtle because Blastoise was on the cover of Blue… But, thankfully, I was able to bro it up with my Squirtle. Favorite moment? Paying back Giovanni’s Kangaskhan in Silph Tower with my Blastoise for nearly taking out my team in the Rocket Hideout.

Now on to my 5 favorites of this Generation.

Meowth. And not because of the show, either. I love cats and this motherfucker provided me with money after I became King of Kanto (i.e. beat all the other Trainers). Hilariously, in the early days of the franchise, they didn’t make that many toys in America, so a huge chunk of the toys were the Japanese ones just repackaged or just straight up imported (my mall’s EB Games was full of imported Japanese Pokemon toys). Unfortunately, I got the American packaged Talking Meowth. When I activated it, it wasn’t the Brooklyn accented Meowth that I was use to. I was the screeching Japanese version. Do you know know how scary it is to get a Meowth that would just scream all of this?

Farfetch’d. I really liked this guy. Even though he was an in-game only trade Pokemon, he was fun to use and just plain funny. I wasn’t until FireRed when I got to use my very own, personally owned Farfetch’d. And for whatever reason, this guy was a MONSTER in battle. Fun fact: Farfetch’d is based after an Asian saying about something being as odd as “a duck walking with a leek”, or (to Americanize that for you), something as far-fetched as a cow carrying a bottle of A1 Steak Sauce. If you still haven’t gotten the joke; it’s weird for a duck to be walking around with what you would cook it with. Incidentally, Farfetch’d are indeed eaten en-mass in the Pokemon world.

Hypno; the non-Alakazam Psychic Pokemon. Often ignored by most people in favour of the more popular Alakazam, I was guilty of ignoring this guy until he proved to be a heavy hitter. My Hypno turned out to be perfect for catching Snorlax by himself. Because of that, he’s a pretty unexpected opponent to go up against. And if my Seismic Toss knowing Pikachu is any indication, I really like having Pokemon that are more than means the eye.

Starting a trend of Pokemon with morbid backgrounds, Cubone is odd in the fact that one single incident defined their entire race. The Cubone in Lavender Town is the only one that’s really wearing the skull of it’s deceased mother. It’s mother was killed and it wore it’s mother’s skull to keep her close. How this carried over to the other Cubone everywhere is beyond me. Still though, this pint-sized pugilist is a powerhouse in his own right. He also shares that generic monster body that alot of Pokemon have. And, according to some theorists, Cubones are actually baby Kangaskhans.

This crazy lighting monster was one of my favorites right from when I first saw him in the anime, even though I couldn’t get him in Blue. He seemed like a cooler version of Pikachu; a real electric monster that could put the hurt on anyone he chose. I love both him and his Baby form, but goddamn if I don’t hate his evolved form from the 4th Gen. Hilariously, it wasn’t until his debut episode that I found out that Scyther was a real Pokemon. I had gotten the KFC collectible cards of Pokemon, and found the Scyther one. I was pissed, because I thought that they had thrown in a fake Pokemon.

Tomorrow will be the best Generation ever: Gold and Silver.

05
Mar
11

Reading into Things: Courage the Cowardly Dog

So, I remember writing something about how I felt about how the gang in Scooby Doo got together: Freddy and Velma realize that they both like mysteries and invite Freddy’s girlfriend, pot supplier, and the pot supplier’s dog (Daphny, Shaggy, and Scooby respectfully) to break into a house to solve a mystery. Well, my good friend, Sam brought up one day that he believed that Courage the Cowardly Dog is set after the awakening of Cthulhu, hince the insanity of the world and why no-one seems to notice.

So, I’ve decided to run with this idea.

Continue reading ‘Reading into Things: Courage the Cowardly Dog’

03
Mar
11

Spectacular Gong Stories #4 – For Whom Do the Angels Cry?

WB Johnson here. Now that I’ve become a member of the GONG family, I’ll be placing some of my stories both here and on my own blog (which has yet to be fully constructed). Now, this story is a fantasy story, as it features angels and ghosts. HOWEVER, this story might upset some people as the setting is the Iraqi War.

Now, just as a disclaimer: I don’t thing that all military people are like this. In my opinion there are 3 things that service men/women protect that make them heroes: Their Country and it’s people, their family, and their own freedom (which is part of the reason that our main character is so damn disgusting). Continue reading ‘Spectacular Gong Stories #4 – For Whom Do the Angels Cry?’

03
Mar
11

Problem?

02
Mar
11

Webcomic Recommendations: Kyoji’s First Two

So, I’ve decided that I should some of the amazing web-comics that I’ve read over the years, plus a few new ones, because, goodness help me, I lover being bound to a running series that I can get updates on. For a while, I’d base what day it currently was off of three things: classes, work, which web comic uploaded.

First off, I’m going to start off with the two first webcomics I ever started reading:

The illustrious, famous, and hilarious 8-Bit Theatre. Running from 2001 to 2010, this webcomic is supposed to be a straight translation of the original Final Fantasy, but various hilarious things happen, including appearances of characters from other Final Fantasy games, digs at the conventions of the original game itself, and a tight woven together continuity (there’s a joke stated in the very first few episodes that become’s true towards the end of the comics run). Even the writing is fantastically well done, which isn’t a surprise in hindsight; Brian Clevinger is the creator of the Atomic Robo comic book series. If you’re a fan of Final Fantasy, metaphysical hi-jinks (what happens when comic strip characters are aware of their actions from every panel in a strip? They form an army), ridiculous violence, and a total disregard for Dwarves, this webcomic is for you.

The Second Webcomic is one that’s more of a Main Comic and it’s influenced side comics.

That’s right, Bob and George; a ridiculous “retelling” of the first 6 Megaman games. Originally started as a hand drawn comic until the creator finally had to admit that he couldn’t draw worth a damn, then shifting to a sprite comic (allegedly the first sprite comic), it ran from 2000 to 2007. Aside from the hilariousness of all of the characters dying around each of the comics anniversaries (but it’s okay, because, since they’re robots, they can just be rebuilt), it’s one of the few sprite comics full of dozens of recolours that actually manages to be good. The titular Bob and George are characters from the comic’s original hand drawn strips that ended up in the Megaman Universe. But this is a different Megaman Universe to what we’re use to. In this one, most of the Robot Masters are ridiculously incompetent, as is Megaman and most of the good guys. Dr. Light accidentally programmed him to have the Prime Objective of being an Idiot and a Secondary Objective of being a Hero of Justice. Most of the recollections of the original games are grossly inaccurate due to Author intervention (this being a comic where the Author has a self insert character who does nothing but try to keep order, but ends up being a pain in the ass sometimes), Time Travel Shenanigans (which are essentially the most hated thing in the entire comic, due the to absolute bullshit time travel causes, like George being the main bad-guy of Mega Man 5) and the speculation of the event known in the comic as “The Cataclysm”, which boils down to the explanation as to why the original MegaMan characters aren’t around in MegaMan X by saying that Zero activated early and killed everyone. NOw, for the longest time, Bob and George also hosted several sub comics, some relating to Megaman, others not at all. As of this writing, the only one that’s still actually updating and being linked to from Bob and George’s front-page is MSPaint Masterpieces.

 

MSPaint Masterpieces, unlike Bob and George, has been epicially re-telling the original Megaman games. While it started out as generic Webcomic silliness, it progressively to more and more serious in nature and deeper in tone. By the end of the retelling of the first game, the armies of the world are outside of Wily’s Castle and Megaman is nearly crap metal. To be honest, there are times when this comic is more serious and grave in nature that the famous Rockman MegaMix manga. It’s, quite honestly, the best balance for a silly comic like Bobo and George.

 

Tomorrow, I’ll be talking about the Webcomics that I’ve read, but not longer keep up with anymore.

02
Mar
11

Captain America and why Super Sentai is /co/ related

So, ever since the debut of Kaizoku Sentai Goukaiger and Saban reacquiring the rights to Power Rangers and porting Samurai Sentai Shinkenger as Power Rangers Sentai .

Now, a certain American imageboard of a larger site of ill repute has been particularly butt-frustrated about everyone’s gusto about showing info about both series. Now, as some (READ: none) of you know, there are a few things that have honourary status on /co/. Power Rangers is one of those things. Most people, in a ridiculous attempt of nerd hierarchy, try to distance themselves from anything Eastern, deeming it “stupid”, and “for weeaboos”. Now, one of the most quoted phrases on /co/ is “not /co/ related”.

Fine, you don’t think Super Sentai’s /co/-related? Let’s take a trip back to 1978.

Toei gets a license to make live action shows based on Marvel characters, the first one that they decide to do is Spider-Man, renamed as Supaida-Man.

Now, there was on thing that Supaider-man did that no other Tokusatsu show had done at the time…

SUPAIDA-MAN FIGHT VILLAINS WITH A HUGE FUCKING ROBOT.

 

Now, this leads to Toei wanting to place a giant robot in their Captain American and the Avengers show. However, they didn’t get around to making a Captain America and the Avengers  show; they took the concept of an international Superhero team that pilots a giant robot to fight crime. Now, to make it Japanese, they meshed it together with a series that they had only 2 entries for.

That series was Senta, consisting of:

Himitsu Sentai Goranger

And J.A.K.Q. Dengekitai

Now, Marvel and Toei combine Avengers, Cap, and Sentai and gave birth to the few Sentai show to be called Super Sentai:

BATTLE FEVER J

Therefore, Super Sentai is quite /co/ related.

Now go back to playing with your Ponies; me, your sister, and your cooler older brother are going to go watch a huge fucking Sentai War.