17
Aug
09

Fear and Lothing in Townsville

We are in the middle of dark times, people.
I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but there are hardly any cartoons running at the moment that are getting new episodes.

If I really had to think about it, I’d say that the only shows that i know are getting new episodes anytime soon would be Family Guy, Futurama, The Cleveland Show, Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy, Fairly Oddparents, the shows on Adult Swim, and the shows on Nick Jr.

Now, some of you might say that I’m overreacting; that it’s just the end of the summer and new shows are on their way. Really? I’m not too sure. The commercial animation of American media can’t be held on the backs of Fox and maybe Nickleodeon. Hell, Fox is too dumb to really notice that they wouldn’t make money off of a Futurama that doesn’t have the original voice cast.

In fact, I’m not even going to twiddle my thumbs and say “Well, golly gee whiz, I sure hope that Cartoon Network does okay with these live action shows to help bolster their ratings.”

FUCK

THAT

SHIT

If a network can not get ratings based upon it’s primary mission statement (in this case, a network that is, supposedly “the best place for cartoons”) then it must either go off the air or do a name change. This may seem harsh, but that just how it goes.

I know that you’re really thinking that I’m overreacting now. “You’re just mad because they’re showing live action shows on Cartoon Network.” YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT I AM! This isn’t like Disney or Nick where they got rid of most of their cartoons and replaced them with tweeny junk, because they where still a network that has programming made my Walt Disney/Buena Vista Studios and a network for kids, respectively. This isn’t even like Discovery and TLC, which while they dropped some of their scientific programming, they are still channels about discovering things and learning things, respectively. This is isn’t even like (dare I even say it) VH1 and MTV, because at least they still have sister networks that are readily available to the public that carry the brand name (Boomerang isn’t that accessible sometimes, where as, MTV 2 is on basic cable in some places).

With maybe only 1 new Cartoon in the future (Adventure Time), thing look bleak for Cartoon Network Studios. With it’s passing, the legacy of Hanna Barbara will come to a close.

Take it or leave it, fans. Cartoon Network is dead. Long live Turner’s first kids network. My God have mercy on Rob Sorcher’s soul.

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