Some of you may or may not know this, but I’m a Christian. By no means am I a crazed Fundamentalist who’s hellbent on converting everyone and damning those who don’t to burn in the fires of hell. That’s not how I was raised, and that’s certainly not what my beliefs are now. Be an example. Follow the light for your own sake and by example, people will do the same. Unfortunately, not everyone gets the same common sense upbringing; hence Mr. Kyle “Da G-Man” Goldman’s little video game review site.
On this site, he reviews two types of games: christian games and everything else. At first, this doesn’t seem too bad. But then, you get to the list of regular games. He refers to them as “Secular & Un-Christian Games”. Upon his list are a few games that have come out recently or are fairly well known. One thing that angered me was the fact that for all games that are rated M, he doesn’t play them, and relies on the reviews of other people. Last time I checked, you have to PLAY a game to REVIEW it.
First on the list is Doom, the classic well known FPS that revived the genre for PC gamers. I did respect that he did his homework and knew that you play as a Marine who’s killing demons to keep them from taking over Earth. However, Mr. Goldman says that the creator of the game is an atheist, so basically it makes the entire point moot. Apparently, unless you’re Christian, you can’t make a game that has demon slaying being a main point, as you don’t know the meaning of it’s good purposes.
Next is TETRIS. You know? TETRIS?! THE GAME WITH BLOCKS THAT EVERYONE BORN DURING THE AGE OF GAMING HAS AT LEAST SEEN BEING PLAYED IF THEY HAVEN’T THEMSELVES?! Well, because you can’t beat it, it’s a part of the Communist plot to dismantle the people’s belief in God by being fatalistic. Also, he claims that: “the word “tetris” comes from the game pieces all being made of four blocks. In reality, the game was named in mockery of the Trinity by adding a forth hypostasis, the Communist State, to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.” In ACTUAL REAL LIVE FACT the name comes from the combination of the words ‘tennis’, a favorite game of its creator, Alexey Leonidovich Pajitnov and ‘tetromino’ the mathematical name of the shapes used. Mr. Goldman also believes that it’s the Soviet version of the POLYBIUS project that the US Government had in the 70’s. Polybius is an urban legend, BTW.
Before I tear my keyboard apart, I’ll leave you with the funniest one on the list. His review of Metal Gear Solid 4 (which I’ll interspace with my own comments):